INT. JANE FONDA'S KITCHEN - DAY
Jane Fonda sits at a cluttered but elegant breakfast nook in the Palisades, sun streaming through the blinds leaving horizontal stripes of gray and bleached white on a lap of crisp pale chinos and gold-clasped pointed flats (a penchant for kitschier taste in old age). She’s angling her coffee saucer at the corners of her mouth - lipsticked in coppery Buttercream, a new shade by Lancôme - daring the liquid to spill before swishing the creamy cappuccino in between her teeth, letting it moisten her tongue until the final gulp. She gets goosebumps and leafs through a magazine - glossy, of course - from a pile neatly stacked atop the heirloom (mother’s side) crystal table-top.
The phone rings.
JANE
Hello?
PKR
Jane? Mrs... Ms. Fonda?
JANE
Yes this is she, may I ask who is speaking?
PKR
It's Paule. I'm twenty-seven years old and
I've been doing your workouts.
JANE
Have you?
PKR
Yes!
JANE
Which ones?
PKR
The one for beginners, where you're wearing that
lilac striped leotard, those pink leg warmers. And
with Leslie Lilien singing along to her song. Wasn't
she out of breath?
JANE
Oh yes, Leslie. Well, she very well might have been.
Isn't she a professional!
PKR
You must have had abs of steel yourself. You do, like,
ten different kinds of sit-ups with 4x8 reps each! Well,
maybe that's a bit of an exag. But it's still a lot! I
couldn’t follow. But then you would bring me back to
life with: “Squeeze it!” Or, “Energy!” “Feel the buuuurn.”
JANE
(laughing)
Oh that’s bringing back memories. You know what,
I didn’t think people would be watching my videos
in 2015.
PKR
On YouTube!
JANE
Yes, on YouTube.
PKR
I'm so grateful for them.
JANE
Is that so?
PKR
I have muscles! I almost have my judo muscles
back. My biceps are outta this world.
(pause)
Oh, I wanted to tell you. My friend Derek came to
the American Ballet Theatre with me at Lincoln
Center last fall. He's a New Yorker but he'd never
been - to the ballet, I mean. It was for that Opening
Night Gala of the new choreography by Liam Scarlett,
Misty Copeland dancing - do you remember? Anyway,
when I got there I looked like I'd just thrown myself
into the fountain I was so soaked.
(pause)
"I saw Jane Fonda." That's the first thing Derek said
to me halfway through the lobby door; I missed you
because I was running in the rain.
JANE
Wasn't that fitting for the piece? What was it called
again?
PKR
"With a Chance of Rain."
JANE
Well that's too much!
PKR
Isn't it? Jane do you know it's my sister's birthday
tomorrow?
JANE
Oh, how old is she turning?
PKR
Less than 30! You know, she might not want me
to tell... Jane, how old are you?
JANE
Well, if you really want to find out you can read my
book, ha!
Jane leans back in her seat and takes off her glasses, smiling.
PKR
Do you know I caught you on Actors Studio once?
JANE
You still watch TV?
PKR
Well not so much anymore but this is when I still lived
at home - I'd go in the basement and watch Bravo.
JANE
James Lipton is a great man.
PKR
Can you ever tell the whole truth in an interview?
JANE
At some point, it's easy to be as honest as you
can. There's nothing special about a secret.
PKR
Well, without you I wouldn't have known about
crying perpendicularly.
JANE
Oh, yes. When something hits home so much your tears
spit out parallel to the ground. Does that happen to you,
do you ever cry perpendicularly?
PKR
No, more like ---- backwardly? Perpendicular but the
other way. Like if I'm lying in bed the tears'll just roll
down into my ears. And get my pillow wet. I hate that.
So I always sleep with a towel now. A washcloth by
my head.
JANE
A good catchall.
PKR
Instead of crying I should just be sweating it out. I'd
look like Jillian from The Bachelor. Get black-barred
all over my juicy lucy.
JANE
The Bachelor? Oh, that Prince Farming guy. Yes,
well. We're all looking for someone aren't we.