Cars (2006), Ice Age (2002), Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
I’m not going to pretend that my brother was a big movie guy. He would have much preferred spending his time outside with friends, skateboarding, scootering, BMX riding. And as he got older, partying and flirting with girls. Nonetheless, Adam often humoured me and my love of film and was certainly not immune to certain childhood favourites. Gun to my head, I think I could recite nearly every line of Cars, Ice Age, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. I don’t care who you are or how many Bergman films you’ve seen, there comes a time in everyone’s life when you must sit your ass down and watch Cars for the eighteenth time with a much younger loved one.
Iron Giant (1999)
Another childhood favourite of Adam's, but one that stands out more significantly to me than the others. Perhaps, selfishly, because it is a film I actually like! The rebellious, anti-establishment nature of Hogarth and hip (emphasis on the P, if you know you know) sidekick Dean was equally attractive to my teenage self as it was exciting and funny to Adam. “Welcome to downtown Coolsville, population us” was a line repeated in the Richardson household often, an ironic nod to our shared distaste for authority and love of the arts. Though the “us” in question has shattered in different ways, divorce and death and many years later, it is comforting to know that that version of us existed at all. “Souls don’t die”, so the Iron Giant says.
Harry Potter (2001-2011)
I recall on one of my many dutiful older sibling babysitting afternoons we had a Harry Potter marathon. A classic family marathon choice, though one that was always cut short because Adam was afraid of the Dementors in the beginning of Order of the Phoenix. After Adam’s death, and to this day, I find this scene hard to watch. While then, I could protect him from fictional Dementors by simply turning the movie off, I nor anyone was able to protect him from his own, very real death. Perhaps a silly connection to make, but one that highlights the stark difference in how I see things now. The horror genre in general, previously a favourite of mine for all its catharsis, has become trickier to stomach.
Big Hero 6 (2014)
As Adam got older and more teenaged, we drifted apart. I lived in a different province and most of what went on in his life was reported to me by either parent. Aside from the odd text or phone call, Adam and I communicated very little. I did not watch Big Hero 6 with him directly, but I remember receiving a phone call the day that he and my dad saw it in theatres. In an attempt to not miss too much of the movie, Adam ran to the washroom, fell and broke his arm. I will think of this incident every time I run to pee in a theater. Maybe he was more of a movie lover than he let on, I for one have never broken a bone in the name of cinema.
Eighth Grade (2018)
Adam and I saw Eighth Grade alone together in theatres. I picked this one because Adam’s burgeoning interest in making YouTube videos and his struggles with being social (Adam was on the autism spectrum, and making friends was sometimes difficult for him) aligned perfectly with the movie's themes. Hilariously, he seemed, at least outwardly, to not resonate with this part of the movie at all. Adam’s biggest reaction came during the simulated lockdown scene where a boy asks Kayla if she gives good blow jobs. In the next scene, Kayla googles “how to give a good blow job”. Adam laughed his ass off.
Aladdin (2019)
When my mom and Adam came to visit me in Montreal one summer, Adam and I decided to go and see the live-action Aladdin just the two of us. It gave my mom what was likely a much-needed break and us some freedom from the parental eye. Neither of us cared to see this specific film much. It was summer and an air-conditioned theatre was an attractive escape from the sticky humidity of downtown Montreal and frankly, any older sibling knows that 120 minutes in a theatre is a breeze of a babysitting gig. On the walk home, however, I recall having what felt like one of our first mature conversations. Having a sibling much younger than you is unique in that it is almost as if you are two only children from the same family, or you are an awkward third parent with no real authority. I remember walking along the hot pavement and cracking jokes about our parents, sharing knowledge of them and their quirks that only we would understand. I remember being excited that we would be much closer when we got older, and our 12-year age difference didn’t feel so striking.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Like most boys, Adam was attracted to the Star Wars universe. He loved watching the high-stakes battles, building the ships out of Lego and laughing at the silly little creatures. One of my fondest memories is attending the premiere of The Force Awakens on a family trip to Quebec during Christmas time. There are several photos of Adam and I pulling faces in our 3D glasses, but there is one photo in particular of us both smiling so genuinely that it’s impossible for me not to cry when I see it today.
Free Guy (2021)
In the months after Adam’s death, I found movie watching very difficult. It was hard to imagine caring about the lives of fictional characters or becoming invested in any kind of story beyond my own tragic one. In August of 2021, one month after his death, I went to see Free Guy. Mostly because I actually did not care to see it at all and a silly movie felt perfect for my emotional state. Upon entering the theatre, I grabbed a pair of 3D glasses and took my seat. When I reached to put them on, I found that I had accidentally grabbed two.
Cars (2006), Ice Age (2002), Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
I’m not going to pretend that my brother was a big movie guy. He would have much preferred spending his time outside with friends, skateboarding, scootering, BMX riding. And as he got older, partying and flirting with girls. Nonetheless, Adam often humoured me and my love of film and was certainly not immune to certain childhood favourites. Gun to my head, I think I could recite nearly every line of Cars, Ice Age, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. I don’t care who you are or how many Bergman films you’ve seen, there comes a time in everyone’s life when you must sit your ass down and watch Cars for the eighteenth time with a much younger loved one.
Iron Giant (1999)
Another childhood favourite of Adam's, but one that stands out more significantly to me than the others. Perhaps, selfishly, because it is a film I actually like! The rebellious, anti-establishment nature of Hogarth and hip (emphasis on the P, if you know you know) sidekick Dean was equally attractive to my teenage self as it was exciting and funny to Adam. “Welcome to downtown Coolsville, population us” was a line repeated in the Richardson household often, an ironic nod to our shared distaste for authority and love of the arts. Though the “us” in question has shattered in different ways, divorce and death and many years later, it is comforting to know that that version of us existed at all. “Souls don’t die”, so the Iron Giant says.
Harry Potter (2001-2011)
I recall on one of my many dutiful older sibling babysitting afternoons we had a Harry Potter marathon. A classic family marathon choice, though one that was always cut short because Adam was afraid of the Dementors in the beginning of Order of the Phoenix. After Adam’s death, and to this day, I find this scene hard to watch. While then, I could protect him from fictional Dementors by simply turning the movie off, I nor anyone was able to protect him from his own, very real death. Perhaps a silly connection to make, but one that highlights the stark difference in how I see things now. The horror genre in general, previously a favourite of mine for all its catharsis, has become trickier to stomach.
Big Hero 6 (2014)
As Adam got older and more teenaged, we drifted apart. I lived in a different province and most of what went on in his life was reported to me by either parent. Aside from the odd text or phone call, Adam and I communicated very little. I did not watch Big Hero 6 with him directly, but I remember receiving a phone call the day that he and my dad saw it in theatres. In an attempt to not miss too much of the movie, Adam ran to the washroom, fell and broke his arm. I will think of this incident every time I run to pee in a theater. Maybe he was more of a movie lover than he let on, I for one have never broken a bone in the name of cinema.
Eighth Grade (2018)
Adam and I saw Eighth Grade alone together in theatres. I picked this one because Adam’s burgeoning interest in making YouTube videos and his struggles with being social (Adam was on the autism spectrum, and making friends was sometimes difficult for him) aligned perfectly with the movie's themes. Hilariously, he seemed, at least outwardly, to not resonate with this part of the movie at all. Adam’s biggest reaction came during the simulated lockdown scene where a boy asks Kayla if she gives good blow jobs. In the next scene, Kayla googles “how to give a good blow job”. Adam laughed his ass off.
Aladdin (2019)
When my mom and Adam came to visit me in Montreal one summer, Adam and I decided to go and see the live-action Aladdin just the two of us. It gave my mom what was likely a much-needed break and us some freedom from the parental eye. Neither of us cared to see this specific film much. It was summer and an air-conditioned theatre was an attractive escape from the sticky humidity of downtown Montreal and frankly, any older sibling knows that 120 minutes in a theatre is a breeze of a babysitting gig. On the walk home, however, I recall having what felt like one of our first mature conversations. Having a sibling much younger than you is unique in that it is almost as if you are two only children from the same family, or you are an awkward third parent with no real authority. I remember walking along the hot pavement and cracking jokes about our parents, sharing knowledge of them and their quirks that only we would understand. I remember being excited that we would be much closer when we got older, and our 12-year age difference didn’t feel so striking.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Like most boys, Adam was attracted to the Star Wars universe. He loved watching the high-stakes battles, building the ships out of Lego and laughing at the silly little creatures. One of my fondest memories is attending the premiere of The Force Awakens on a family trip to Quebec during Christmas time. There are several photos of Adam and I pulling faces in our 3D glasses, but there is one photo in particular of us both smiling so genuinely that it’s impossible for me not to cry when I see it today.
Free Guy (2021)
In the months after Adam’s death, I found movie watching very difficult. It was hard to imagine caring about the lives of fictional characters or becoming invested in any kind of story beyond my own tragic one. In August of 2021, one month after his death, I went to see Free Guy. Mostly because I actually did not care to see it at all and a silly movie felt perfect for my emotional state. Upon entering the theatre, I grabbed a pair of 3D glasses and took my seat. When I reached to put them on, I found that I had accidentally grabbed two.