The Decor:
- Plastic diamonds on stands that light up (see pic below)
- Fake crystal candle holder
- Fresh flowers
- Personalized bedazzled plastic wine glasses
Tasting Menu:
- The infamous goat cheese balls from SUR
- The Real Housewife of New York's Bethany Frenkel's Skinnygirl raspberry jam
- Skinnygirl lime-flavoured popcorn (hand popped, 25 calories per bag, we made 5 bags to fill one bowl)
- The finest frozen pizza to soak up the alcohol
- Plate of dry crackers to soak up more alcohol
- Leftover watermelon from Ron Ron Juice
- Spicy jalapeno Takis just for fun
The Guest List (VIPs ONLY) & their reality TV show faves:
- Grant Cooper (GC): DJ Pauly D
- Jess Knights (JK): Raven from RPDR
- Kerlea Joseph (KJ): Tiffany "New York" Pollard
- Grace Eakins (GE): Also, Tiffany "New York" Pollard
- Nick Frenette (NF): Jonathan and Drew Scott. They count as one, right?
- Steph Wong Ken (SWK): Lisa "I drink tea and don't start drama" Vanderpump
- Beth Baines (BB): The Grande Dame of Potomac, Karen Huger
Top 10 Dranks (in no particular order):
1. “Very cold glass of the driest white they have”
Eileen Davidson’s (Days of our Lives soap star turned Real Housewife) drink of choice.
JK: It’s like a very cold house white at a family-run restaurant that’s struggling to stay afloat.
KJ: Very very dry. Underwhelmed by the scent. I'd only drink it at the initial promotional event. As a cast member, I'd definitely avoid it on any subsequent cast trips.
GC: Pairs well with the Skinnygirl Raspberry Jam and not-so-skinny cheese balls. It makes me look like a classy bitch.
GE: I would drink this sitting across from the guy I’m on a date with while he’s telling me about his hometown and I’m bored outta my mind so I just say “mmhmm that’s nice." It would dull the edge for sure.
BB: Pairs well with dinner arguments.
SWK: A decent amuse bouche for the bouche… also we have to mix like nine more drinks so we need to start nice and easy.
2. Ron Ron Juice
The preferred before-a-night-out beverage of Jersey Shore's Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. The recipe called for an ENTIRE jar of maraschino cherries, which we skipped because we couldn't find them at Walmart and also for the good of our blood sugar.
JK: I find it refreshing. The cherries would probably tip it over the edge into gross territory. I feel like it would stain your teeth red.
SWK: Blending this drink was a journey, we threw in random chunks of watermelon and more juice to come up with a somewhat consumable texture.
BB: I hate this almost as much as I hate Ron Ron.
KJ: It tastes like a cough medicine smoothie cocktail. Like something my grandmother would make me drink in the summer to purge/detoxify. I think I would pair it with Vicks Vapor rub and a hot towel across my forehead.
GE: So fun! Good scent and colour! I’d pair this with more Ron Ron juice. It feels like I’m drinking a Jugo Juice.
3. Pumptini
The iconic SUR cocktail of Vanderpump Rules. Bartender Beth neglected to add the vodka to this cocktail so technically it's a virgin. Whoops!
JK: My teeth hurt but I also kinda like it. I could have this with brunch. Because brunch beverages are essential.
GE: Love it! I don’t think it’s too sweet, it’s not as artificial-tasting as Ron Ron juice, and I love raspberries. It reminds me of a melted popsicle.
GC: It's okay. It doesn’t give the toxic masculinity vibes I would be trying to give off.
NF: My dentist called after the first sip, urging me to stop. This is sweet. Someone pumped up the jam! I already have a headache.
KJ: Before tasting, my excitement was very high and I have to say it didn't disappoint. I love how sweet and pink it is. I could definitely see myself getting pissy drunk on this in PUMP's courtyard.
4. Vodka soda TWO lemons, carcass out
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Dorit Kemsley’s signature drink. We’re not sure where “carcass out" came from, maybe she invented it? It's certainly the most graphic way to describe juicing a lemon.
JK: She’s fresh. Good for all-day day-drinking at the members only club.
GC: It’s nice and refreshing and would be great on a patio off Rodeo Drive paired with Botox. It makes me feel even wealthier than I am.
NF: Goes well with frozen pizza.
KJ: Upon hearing this was a Dorit Kemsley drink, I was apprehensive, but I'm actually a fan. Low calorie, low sugar but lemony and fresh. It's the perfect drink to have at lunch where me and another cast member hash out our issues from a party the night before.
GE: Smells clean! It sitting in my bedazzled cup makes me feel like I’m wearing 1999 Versace.
SWK: What a sour, refreshing sip. I think having carcasses in would completely change the integrity of this drink. Keep those dead ass peels on the side!
5. Rosé & Diet Coke
The Real Housewives of New York City's Sonja Morgan, American socialite and entrepreneur, drinks this combo to not get too drunk.
GC: Smells like it tastes… trash.
NF: Where have you been all my life? This is lovely. A delicate step up from rum and coke.
KJ: I was apprehensive especially since the smell is less than appealing but the flavour is surprisingly pleasant. An unconventional flavour combination that works.
BB: Hate this as much as I love Sonja.
SWK: I LOVE THIS UNAPOLOGETICALLY AND WOULD DRINK MORE. Is this how I become a successful entrepreneur??
6. Vodka soda in a wine glass with muddled mint and lime
The Real Housewives of New York's Ramona Singer, the “inventor” of this sensational new summer cocktail. She insists on drinking it with a straw and claims if you use an extra large wine glass, it's like two drinks in one. We added mint for a little extra zing, try it sometime, Ramona!
JK: I like it. Feels like I’m getting healthier as I get a little more sauced.
GC: Makes me feel like a beach boi.
GE: ‘cause it’s refreshing and I feel alive while drinking it!!! I’m mINTO it!
BB: Love it. As Ramona would say: “This is an acquired taste. If you don’t like it, acquire some taste.”
7. Dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olives (hand stuffed by SWK)
The Real Housewives of Orange County and Insurance Broker, Vicky Gunvalson keeps her love tank full with the help of this boozy, cheese stuffed drank.
JK: I already hate this.
GC: If the blue cheese olive was room temp and also not bleeding a bunch of cheese out into the fluid causing it to float around like little bits of decomposing toilet paper then MAYBE I would have liked it more.
NF: Basically this was a shot of vodka.
KJ: Initially I felt a deep sense of fear at the thought of drinking blue cheese in a cocktail. Unfortunately my fears were justified. I don't understand why someone would willingly ingest this concoction. It smells like a salad and tastes like moldy gasoline. This is a drink for repressed masochists. I'd pair it with therapy.
SWK: For all the labour this drink required, I will say on record I enjoyed how obnoxious this made my tongue feel.
GE: NO !!!!! Don’t bring it to me!!
8. Fancy Pants Champs
The Real Housewives of Orange County's Heather Dubrow is one of the richest housewives and she lets you know it with her drink of choice, Veuve Clicquot.
JK: Yes. I like. Again please. Because I’m rich. I’d have to be. If you got it, flaunt it. I’d be drinking this morning, noon, and night.
GC: I kind of enjoyed it but probably just due to the fucking fancy factor.
NF: Oh que oui! This is like New Year’s Eve in my mouth.
KJ: Celebratory, fun, and flirty, I would definitely drink this toasting to the successful brand launch of a fellow cast member.
GE: Too sweet! Too fancy!
9. Shot of Fireball
The Vanderpump Rules-approved party starter and sometimes morning breath freshener, especially before your next DJ set.
JK: It’s a good little sip. But it also tastes like burning.
GC: This is the key to my cinnamon heart with its sweet and spicy mix that always brings me back for more.
NF: It’s so nice someone made an adult beverage version of my beloved childhood candy, atomic fireball. That said, this drink is dangerous and has given me the worst hangovers. Do not keep a bottle of it in your house.
KJ: Fireball always made me think of out of control whiteboy frat parties, so I avoided it but I did enjoy the mini shot.
GE: Reminds me of being a teenager drinking in the park in winter, WHY would someone not living in these conditions choose to drink this?
BB: This tastes like it will be bad for my rosacea.
10. Love is Wine Cupcake Chardonnay
We planned to serve the branded Love is Wine wine and the official branded Real Housewives wine, but alas, our Canadian mailing address means we get healthcare and not the wine we really want. We used the regular Cupcake Vineyards Chardonnay because it’s probably the same. Cheers!
JK: I feel duped. Can I have another Pumptini?
SWK: This tastes like the one that got away. Guess we'll never know what love in a bottle feels like when you sip it.
Top snax of the night:
Tie between the goat cheese balls and the Skinnygirl popcorn.
Top drink of the night:
Pumptini by far, a pretty pink crowd pleaser. Would only be better if we were sipping it in Super Unique Restaurant, Restaurant…on TV!
The Decor:
- Plastic diamonds on stands that light up (see pic below)
- Fake crystal candle holder
- Fresh flowers
- Personalized bedazzled plastic wine glasses
Tasting Menu:
- The infamous goat cheese balls from SUR
- The Real Housewife of New York's Bethany Frenkel's Skinnygirl raspberry jam
- Skinnygirl lime-flavoured popcorn (hand popped, 25 calories per bag, we made 5 bags to fill one bowl)
- The finest frozen pizza to soak up the alcohol
- Plate of dry crackers to soak up more alcohol
- Leftover watermelon from Ron Ron Juice
- Spicy jalapeno Takis just for fun
The Guest List (VIPs ONLY) & their reality TV show faves:
- Grant Cooper (GC): DJ Pauly D
- Jess Knights (JK): Raven from RPDR
- Kerlea Joseph (KJ): Tiffany "New York" Pollard
- Grace Eakins (GE): Also, Tiffany "New York" Pollard
- Nick Frenette (NF): Jonathan and Drew Scott. They count as one, right?
- Steph Wong Ken (SWK): Lisa "I drink tea and don't start drama" Vanderpump
- Beth Baines (BB): The Grande Dame of Potomac, Karen Huger
Top 10 Dranks (in no particular order):
1. “Very cold glass of the driest white they have”
Eileen Davidson’s (Days of our Lives soap star turned Real Housewife) drink of choice.
JK: It’s like a very cold house white at a family-run restaurant that’s struggling to stay afloat.
KJ: Very very dry. Underwhelmed by the scent. I'd only drink it at the initial promotional event. As a cast member, I'd definitely avoid it on any subsequent cast trips.
GC: Pairs well with the Skinnygirl Raspberry Jam and not-so-skinny cheese balls. It makes me look like a classy bitch.
GE: I would drink this sitting across from the guy I’m on a date with while he’s telling me about his hometown and I’m bored outta my mind so I just say “mmhmm that’s nice." It would dull the edge for sure.
BB: Pairs well with dinner arguments.
SWK: A decent amuse bouche for the bouche… also we have to mix like nine more drinks so we need to start nice and easy.
2. Ron Ron Juice
The preferred before-a-night-out beverage of Jersey Shore's Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. The recipe called for an ENTIRE jar of maraschino cherries, which we skipped because we couldn't find them at Walmart and also for the good of our blood sugar.
JK: I find it refreshing. The cherries would probably tip it over the edge into gross territory. I feel like it would stain your teeth red.
SWK: Blending this drink was a journey, we threw in random chunks of watermelon and more juice to come up with a somewhat consumable texture.
BB: I hate this almost as much as I hate Ron Ron.
KJ: It tastes like a cough medicine smoothie cocktail. Like something my grandmother would make me drink in the summer to purge/detoxify. I think I would pair it with Vicks Vapor rub and a hot towel across my forehead.
GE: So fun! Good scent and colour! I’d pair this with more Ron Ron juice. It feels like I’m drinking a Jugo Juice.
3. Pumptini
The iconic SUR cocktail of Vanderpump Rules. Bartender Beth neglected to add the vodka to this cocktail so technically it's a virgin. Whoops!
JK: My teeth hurt but I also kinda like it. I could have this with brunch. Because brunch beverages are essential.
GE: Love it! I don’t think it’s too sweet, it’s not as artificial-tasting as Ron Ron juice, and I love raspberries. It reminds me of a melted popsicle.
GC: It's okay. It doesn’t give the toxic masculinity vibes I would be trying to give off.
NF: My dentist called after the first sip, urging me to stop. This is sweet. Someone pumped up the jam! I already have a headache.
KJ: Before tasting, my excitement was very high and I have to say it didn't disappoint. I love how sweet and pink it is. I could definitely see myself getting pissy drunk on this in PUMP's courtyard.
4. Vodka soda TWO lemons, carcass out
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Dorit Kemsley’s signature drink. We’re not sure where “carcass out" came from, maybe she invented it? It's certainly the most graphic way to describe juicing a lemon.
JK: She’s fresh. Good for all-day day-drinking at the members only club.
GC: It’s nice and refreshing and would be great on a patio off Rodeo Drive paired with Botox. It makes me feel even wealthier than I am.
NF: Goes well with frozen pizza.
KJ: Upon hearing this was a Dorit Kemsley drink, I was apprehensive, but I'm actually a fan. Low calorie, low sugar but lemony and fresh. It's the perfect drink to have at lunch where me and another cast member hash out our issues from a party the night before.
GE: Smells clean! It sitting in my bedazzled cup makes me feel like I’m wearing 1999 Versace.
SWK: What a sour, refreshing sip. I think having carcasses in would completely change the integrity of this drink. Keep those dead ass peels on the side!
5. Rosé & Diet Coke
The Real Housewives of New York City's Sonja Morgan, American socialite and entrepreneur, drinks this combo to not get too drunk.
GC: Smells like it tastes… trash.
NF: Where have you been all my life? This is lovely. A delicate step up from rum and coke.
KJ: I was apprehensive especially since the smell is less than appealing but the flavour is surprisingly pleasant. An unconventional flavour combination that works.
BB: Hate this as much as I love Sonja.
SWK: I LOVE THIS UNAPOLOGETICALLY AND WOULD DRINK MORE. Is this how I become a successful entrepreneur??
6. Vodka soda in a wine glass with muddled mint and lime
The Real Housewives of New York's Ramona Singer, the “inventor” of this sensational new summer cocktail. She insists on drinking it with a straw and claims if you use an extra large wine glass, it's like two drinks in one. We added mint for a little extra zing, try it sometime, Ramona!
JK: I like it. Feels like I’m getting healthier as I get a little more sauced.
GC: Makes me feel like a beach boi.
GE: ‘cause it’s refreshing and I feel alive while drinking it!!! I’m mINTO it!
BB: Love it. As Ramona would say: “This is an acquired taste. If you don’t like it, acquire some taste.”
7. Dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olives (hand stuffed by SWK)
The Real Housewives of Orange County and Insurance Broker, Vicky Gunvalson keeps her love tank full with the help of this boozy, cheese stuffed drank.
JK: I already hate this.
GC: If the blue cheese olive was room temp and also not bleeding a bunch of cheese out into the fluid causing it to float around like little bits of decomposing toilet paper then MAYBE I would have liked it more.
NF: Basically this was a shot of vodka.
KJ: Initially I felt a deep sense of fear at the thought of drinking blue cheese in a cocktail. Unfortunately my fears were justified. I don't understand why someone would willingly ingest this concoction. It smells like a salad and tastes like moldy gasoline. This is a drink for repressed masochists. I'd pair it with therapy.
SWK: For all the labour this drink required, I will say on record I enjoyed how obnoxious this made my tongue feel.
GE: NO !!!!! Don’t bring it to me!!
8. Fancy Pants Champs
The Real Housewives of Orange County's Heather Dubrow is one of the richest housewives and she lets you know it with her drink of choice, Veuve Clicquot.
JK: Yes. I like. Again please. Because I’m rich. I’d have to be. If you got it, flaunt it. I’d be drinking this morning, noon, and night.
GC: I kind of enjoyed it but probably just due to the fucking fancy factor.
NF: Oh que oui! This is like New Year’s Eve in my mouth.
KJ: Celebratory, fun, and flirty, I would definitely drink this toasting to the successful brand launch of a fellow cast member.
GE: Too sweet! Too fancy!
9. Shot of Fireball
The Vanderpump Rules-approved party starter and sometimes morning breath freshener, especially before your next DJ set.
JK: It’s a good little sip. But it also tastes like burning.
GC: This is the key to my cinnamon heart with its sweet and spicy mix that always brings me back for more.
NF: It’s so nice someone made an adult beverage version of my beloved childhood candy, atomic fireball. That said, this drink is dangerous and has given me the worst hangovers. Do not keep a bottle of it in your house.
KJ: Fireball always made me think of out of control whiteboy frat parties, so I avoided it but I did enjoy the mini shot.
GE: Reminds me of being a teenager drinking in the park in winter, WHY would someone not living in these conditions choose to drink this?
BB: This tastes like it will be bad for my rosacea.
10. Love is Wine Cupcake Chardonnay
We planned to serve the branded Love is Wine wine and the official branded Real Housewives wine, but alas, our Canadian mailing address means we get healthcare and not the wine we really want. We used the regular Cupcake Vineyards Chardonnay because it’s probably the same. Cheers!
JK: I feel duped. Can I have another Pumptini?
SWK: This tastes like the one that got away. Guess we'll never know what love in a bottle feels like when you sip it.
Top snax of the night:
Tie between the goat cheese balls and the Skinnygirl popcorn.
Top drink of the night:
Pumptini by far, a pretty pink crowd pleaser. Would only be better if we were sipping it in Super Unique Restaurant, Restaurant…on TV!